And the Earth Keeps Spinning
by dot823
Summary: (Humanstuck) When Tavros started feeling sick, his family and friends hoped it was nothing, and that he'd just get better. That didn't happen, though. It just got worse and worse and now he's in the hospital, and that doctor just came in, and she's carrying results that nobody wants to see.
1. Chapter 1

**a/n so I should really be working on something else but I read another one of those prompts that hit me and made me go 'oH MY GOD THIS IS A THING THAT i HAVE TO WRITE' soooo…I'll link and just straight up copy and paste the prompt (in case the link stops working) in at the bottom to avoid spoilers. This story doesn't actually follow the prompt anymore, anyway. I think it's growing TW: major character death, cancer.**

**Disclaimer: I don't have the skills to be Hussie.**

And the Earth Keeps Spinning

You've been here for nearly a week. A while week of test after test after test, and each time they drew more blood, made you piss in a cup, or put you in some big fancy machine, you just ended up waiting for one of your doctors to shrug his or her shoulders, frown, and explain in fancy words that they still didn't know how to stop it. They still have no clue how to save you.

You're hooked to an IV and a few other machines, resting against the fluffy pillows and staring at the tiny TV with the colors that are just a little bit off in the corner of the room.

Your cousin, father, best friend, and boyfriend have been taking turns staying with you. You almost wish they would leave you alone…just for a little bit. You're so exhausted, all you want to do is be able to cry without bothering them. You want them to think you're strong, not that you're too scared and weak to deal with this. You're thankful that your boyfriend, Dave, who had taken the place of your best friend, Gamzee, a few hours ago, had already fallen asleep. You weren't in the mood for a rap batter that you knew you'd lose unless he purposely did poorly to make you feel better, or another conversation about his comics or really any conversation. You didn't want to talk.

A woman wearing a rusty red shirt under a white lab coat knocks on your door, and you look towards her. Her full lips, red as blood, are twisted into an awkward smile, and her brown eyes are filled with sorrow. Eyes that say that they found something bad. "Nitram?" She asks quietly, and you nod.

She walks in, glancing at the sleeping form. Dave's mouth hung open and he snored slightly. She watches him for just a second before running a hand through her long mass of curls.

"The news isn't very good, I'm afraid…" She hugs a clipboard to her chest, "Would you like me to wake your friend up?"

You shake your head quickly. You want to hear it alone. "Just tell me, please."

She nods, "The last scan revealed that you've got cancer."

You nod. That's…well, it's okay. People survive cancer all the time.

"It seems it took us quite a while to catch it, too." She pulls out a copy of the scan and passes it to you.

"Um…" you stare at it, looking at all the bright spots. They riddled your body; your arms, legs…there was even a small spot in your brain, and several on your torso.

"The lighter areas are tumors," she confirms your fears.

You're covered in them. You're a fucking Christmas tree, and tumors are your ornaments. You look down at yourself, then back at the image. That's _you_.

"Will I be able to make it?" You ask quietly, blinking a few times.

"I'm sorry…it isn't very likely. There is still a possibility, though, and we'll fight with you through the whole thing. There are several treatment options we can talk about, once your father is back. We promise, we'll do all that we can to ensure you a long life."

You nod, rubbing the back of one of your hands over an eye. You pass the image back to her, "Can we talk about that, uh, later?"

She nods as though she understands everything. How could she understand what you're going through? How could she possibly know what it's like to be so close to death?

She leaves soon after that, and you spend the next several minutes crying silently. You try to get as much of it out as you can, and then you pull yourself together and watch TV. All of the crying exhausted you, and after a while, you find yourself falling asleep.

You can only hope that it doesn't look like you were crying. You don't want Dave to know. You don't want your dad or Rufioh or Gamzee or any of your other friends to know. You don't want more pitying looks, you don't want 'if you want to cry to somebody…' you don't want any of it.

You want to go back to normal. You want to be healthy. You just…you want to have a few more hours to pretend that you're going to be okay.

You hate this. You really do.

**a/n The prompt was: post/73762902592/your-muse-has-found-out-they-are-going-to-die-within and if you want to know what it says without the link(or if the link breaks) it reads: Your muse has found out they are going to die within the next week. How does your muse tell mine the news?**

**It was from angsty-askboxmemes and submitted by an anonymous user. So yeah it was meant for tumblr but who cares? It gave me an idea.**


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n Thank you for the comments and follows, guys! I really appreciate them! They really do make me want to continue. Sorry it took so long for me to continue writing…I fell into depression and school got hectic. Inspiration has been hard.**

And The Earth Keeps Spinning

You slowly regain your consciousness. Your eyes remain closed at first, you just listen to the quiet voices. They seem so far away at first, but as you try to stay asleep, you realize the whispers are coming from two people standing right next to your bed.

"…should be leaving," one of the voices says, "you need to eat something. I'll tell you immediately if anything happens."

"It's alright, I'm not that hungry. I'll just go to the vending machine and pick up a snack," the second—you realize after a moment that it's Dave—responds in a hushed tone.

"Dave…your brother is worried about you. He said you haven't slept a full night since Tav was admitted, and that you hardly eat."

The two of them are silent for a few moments, enough for you to open your eyes and blink a few times. They don't notice, at first; Dave's staring at the floor, a frown on his usually calm face, and your dad is staring at Dave.

"…I don't want to," Dave finally says.

You sigh then, and both turn to look at you. Your dad puts on the fake smile he's worn every day since you told him you thought something was wrong, and Dave tries to replace his poker face.

"Oh, hey Tav," Dave leans on the chair, trying to act as though nothing is wrong.

"Dave, uh, you should probably go home, for a bit," as soon as you say it, the frown is on his lips again, "I'll be okay, I'm not going to, uh, go anywhere."

Dave nods slowly and pushes his shades up so they sit correctly on his nose, "Alright, if you're sure."

You nod. You don't really want him to leave, but you don't want to see how he reacts, when he finds out. You wish that he never had to find out. You don't want him, or anybody else, to have to know. They'll just be sad and angry, and you don't want them to cry. You almost wish you could make them forget you. Let them live their lives as though you never existed, so that one day maybe they'll hear about some poor kid named Tavros who died of cancer, and they'll just go 'oh how sad' and move on with their lives.

Dave nods again, leaning over you and giving you a quick, chaste kiss before pulling away. You smile at him as though everything is okay, and he turns and leaves with a wave to your dad. At the door, he turns back to give you a strained smile.

"I'll see you later tonight, okay?" You nod in answer to his question and wave him away.

It isn't much longer until your doctor arrives again, pity poorly masked behind the small smile on her lips.

"Hello again, Dr. Medigo," your father shakes her hand before taking a seat in the chair Dave had just been using.

"Hi Mr. Nitram, how are you doing?"

Your father answers with a shrug, "I guess I'm alright. Just waiting for the test results."

Her smile falters for only a second, but you know your father saw it, "I suppose there's no reason to delay any more then, is there?"

You want to think of an excuse to hold off telling him but he's nodding at her before you can put a word in. She pulls out the image she had showed you earlier and let your father look at it. She gives him the same talk, explaining in the kindest words she can find that you most likely won't live much longer. She relays your options for treatment in a soft, slightly hopeful tone.

Your father nods as she speaks. You can't see his face, but you can imagine the look in his eyes, and you don't want to see it.

He nods, covering his head with a hand as he hands the image back to her, and thanks her for the information before she leaves. It takes a moment before he turns, and when he does look at you, you close your eyes.

He sits in silent, you can feel his eyes watching you, and after while he takes your hand in his, rubbing the back of it gently with his thumb. You sigh and open your eyes to look into his.

It's a long while before either of you do anything other than hold each others' hands. He's the first to make a move, taking a deep breath before he tries to speak.

"You'll make it through, Tav, I know you will."

You swallow thickly and try to talk, but it's interrupted by a soft cry.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, pulling you into a hug, "I'm so sorry."

"Not your fault," you manage to mumble against his shoulder, "I'm sorry."

"It isn't your fault either," he responds, pulling away enough to give you a meaningful look, "I love you."

"Love you too," You try to smile back at him. You just want him to be happy. "I'll make it through. Like you said."

Once again, you're pulled into a hug, and the two of you stay that way, with him rubbing your back as gently as he can as though you might break.

You're the one to pull away when he whispers out his next message, "We need to tell everybody."

"Do we have to?" You ask, begging him with your eyes to say no. You don't want to do this, it's going to hurt them too much.

He nods, "They deserve to know, Tavros. They've been waiting as long as we have."

You blink back a few tears, "But…"

"Tav…there's no way around it."

"…Dave's going to be hurt."

"Yeah."

"Gamzee's going to be really sad."

"I know…"

"Don't make me tell them…"

"They need to know."

"No."

"Yes, Tavros. "

"Why?"

"Because they want to know."

"But I don't want to hurt them."

"Tav…it's not your fault."

"It is, though…"

"Tavros Nitram," he raises his voice just slightly above the whisper he's been using, giving you a stubborn look, "Don't you dare think that any of this is your fault. The fact that you're sick isn't your fault. Everything will be okay, but we need to tell them."

"Dad…" You whine.

"Tav."

"Please don't make me…"

He sighs and hugs you again, running a hand through your mohawk. "I'm sorry, Tavros. We have to tell them. I promised Dave I would."

You slump against him. All you can think about is how much you're going to hurt them all, when they find out. You wish you could stop this all.

**a/n *sighs* finally. Here you go, my loves. **


End file.
